My true tale of the Easter Moth, now on Huff Post.

You learn to appreciate the small victories in parenting.
Fudge, bedside, 3 a.m.: “Mama, I threw up.”
Me: “In the bed?”
Fudge: “No, near it.”
Me: “Okay, good job.”

Please check out my incredibly helpful tips for new parents, now on Huff Post!

"And I thought, all these things don’t seem that much like life, when you’re doing them, they’re just what you do, how you fill up your days, and you think all the time something is going to crack open, and you’ll find yourself, then you’ll find yourself, in life. It’s not even that you particularly want this to happen, this cracking open, you’re comfortable enough the way things are, but you do expect it. Then you’re dying…and it’s just the same plastic chairs and plastic plants and ordinary day outside with people getting groceries and what you’ve had is all there is, and going to the Library, just a thing like that, coming back up the hill on the bus with books and a bag of grapes seems now worth wanting, O God doesn’t it, you’d break your heart wanting back there."

— Alice Munro, Forgiveness in Families

Floyd and Bobo, w/footballs.

Floyd and Bobo, w/footballs.

My god, Aud’s a genius: “The only thing that would’ve made ‘World War Z’ or ‘The Walking Dead’ scarier is if they’d used clowns.”

How You Know You’re Old as F*ck

1. You say, “We have something all three nights this weekend!” and it’s a complaint.

2. You drop your kids at carpool and go “Ahhh…” out loud as you switch to NPR Morning Edition.

3. Later that day, you realize you’ve been driving along to a John Philip Sousa march on this same station and haven’t noticed.

4. You lie to your child’s face and say there’s no milk until you’re sure there’s enough for your coffee.

5. If your daughter tries on any item of your clothing, you go ahead and give it to her, because it’s too depressing otherwise.

6. You say to your dog, in bright, baby voice, “There’s nothing bony about you but your lazy bone!” then chuckle softly.

7. Hearing that any of your favorite bands are reuniting fills you with a sense of dread.

8. You look at Facebook photos of a high school friend and snort, “Christ! He looks like he’s FIFTY!” and then you realize: he is.

9. Your college alumni magazine moves your graduating year into the “decades” section.

10. You try to look nonchalant, leaning forward and speaking sotto voce, when they ask for your date of birth in the huge line at the CVS pharmacy counter.image

My essay on circus dandruff is up at Thought Catalog.

My piece on worry is up at Thought Catalog!