Her voice carried the panic of a swimmer recognizing the undertow too late. She thrashed against the words, terrified of drowning in them…
You learn to appreciate the small victories in parenting.
Fudge, bedside, 3 a.m.: “Mama, I threw up.”
Me: “In the bed?”
Fudge: “No, near it.”
Me: “Okay, good job.”
— Alice Munro, Forgiveness in Families
My god, Aud’s a genius: “The only thing that would’ve made ‘World War Z’ or ‘The Walking Dead’ scarier is if they’d used clowns.”
1. You say, “We have something all three nights this weekend!” and it’s a complaint.
2. You drop your kids at carpool and go “Ahhh…” out loud as you switch to NPR Morning Edition.
3. Later that day, you realize you’ve been driving along to a John Philip Sousa march on this same station and haven’t noticed.
4. You lie to your child’s face and say there’s no milk until you’re sure there’s enough for your coffee.
5. If your daughter tries on any item of your clothing, you go ahead and give it to her, because it’s too depressing otherwise.
6. You say to your dog, in bright, baby voice, “There’s nothing bony about you but your lazy bone!” then chuckle softly.
7. Hearing that any of your favorite bands are reuniting fills you with a sense of dread.
8. You look at Facebook photos of a high school friend and snort, “Christ! He looks like he’s FIFTY!” and then you realize: he is.
9. Your college alumni magazine moves your graduating year into the “decades” section.
10. You try to look nonchalant, leaning forward and speaking sotto voce, when they ask for your date of birth in the huge line at the CVS pharmacy counter.