Me [wearing twinset, holding laundry basket, shaking head as kids lap kitchen island on way out door]:
"As a busy mom, I know how important shortcuts can be. That’s why I make dinner and laundry a snap with new Cook-Dri™. Simply wrap one raw garlic clove in a dish towel, toss into the dryer with a full load of laundry, and walk away! Return an hour later to nicely-browned garlic and heavenly-scented clothing!"
[off camera: “Mom! We’ll be late for soccer!”]
Me [knowing nod, swiping keys from counter]: “Coming! Just starting dinner!”
Cook-Dri™: Dinner. Duds. Done.®
1. Scream at teenage son.
2. See FB pics of cousin taking daughter to college.
3. Open first letter from high school college counseling office.
5. Scream at teenage son.
Never a more mismatched pair than a husband/wife serially reading Game of Thrones/Jane Austen:
Me: “I’m sure you’ll QUITE forgive me, sir, if I insist you’ve GROSSLY mistaken my intentions in coming here, seeking only bedclothes and the indulgence of a sound night’s rest!”
Two can play this Summer game, kids. Want to annoy me? I’ll be singing the Les Miserables soundtrack in Barry Gibb voice until further notice.